On How an Egg Teaches the Fine Art of Patience

I remain a mere novice at the feet of Patience.

To aid in my learning journey, several years ago, I purchased a Big Green Egg. (Can you see what I did there. By assigning a moral imperative to an $1100 purchase, I baptized it. As if by magic, I transformed it from a Want to a Need). 

Sign up for my master classes and I can teach you, too, how to affect this transformation, forever banishing the intrusion of Guilt upon even your most lavish expenditures.

Alternately, you can ask most any woman from age 12 up. Most already know how to turn Wants to Needs without instruction.

Anyway, today, I will use this green ceramic Patience Master to achieve a carnivorous Nirvana, along with the much sought after, and ever elusive mental balms: satisfaction, contentment, happiness, and well-being.

I always think of myself as ‘Grasshopper’, and this beast as my Master Po…

I will produce this sublimity by means of Prime Beef Brisket. 

To be accurate, it will be smoked brisket. It will have a nice bark on the outside, and on the inside, it will melt in your mouth like butter.

Satisfaction, et. al. on a cutting board

To do that will take about 22 hours of patience. Satisfaction, contentment, happiness, and well-being cannot be hurried. These take take time to conjure. About and hour and a half’s worth per pound. You can do some math to see how big a brisket I’m starting out with.

Bet you didn’t know that Total Bliss could be shrink wrapped, huh?

Anyway, I love how the whole process of getting to that succulent, smoky, melt-in-your mouth delicacy makes me think not primarily of the end result, but of the process itself. It’s like a self-replicating loop in computer code. If I follow the process, and allow the loop of a low-temperature charcoal fire, not exceeding 200°, plus good meat, plus a good rub, plus hardwood smoke, plus time, the results will take care of themselves. 

You just have to let the process run it’s course. No need to think on the outcome at all. In the same way the journey is the destination, the process IS the result!

It will be like this:

As you can see by these photos of Briskets Past, I’m NOT thinking about the end result at all…One must guard against such thinking! This is crucial!

I just need to be there to sip bourbon patiently and massage it along. The danger is in going too fast, and in stopping too soon. (There are other wonderful pleasures in life that have the same dangers, no?)

Anyway, wish me luck, er patience. Sorry for not posting this with a TW (Trigger Warning) at the top. 

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