Greg Proffit Writing

Tag: change

  • A Life Worth Living Is The Point Of Making A Living—Even If You Row… Go For It!

    A Life Worth Living Is The Point Of Making A Living—Even If You Row… Go For It!

    A life worth living
    Photo by SOULSANA on Unsplash

    # 81 on my 99 Life Tips–A List is: Focus your attention and energy on making a life worth living, more than on making a living and hoping one day to match it to a worthwhile life. That day may never come.

    Making a living isn’t that exciting if it just means you’re keeping yourself alive and afloat to—make a living. Instead, focus attention on making a life. One worth living. Making a life worth living is the point of making a living. Right?

    How do you know if you have?

    Ask

    Ask yourself, is this the life I want to be living?

    Answer honestly.

    Hopefully, there are elements in your life that you enjoy, that you want to be there, and that you would miss if they were gone. Cherish, protect, and be grateful for those.

    Other elements need to go. Period. You know it. You’ve known it for a while. 

    You know them when you lie down at night and scan the inventory of your life and wonder how you got here, what you’re doing in this job, or with that person, or with these persistent, chronic issues arising from so-called friends, or family members that are family in name only.

    And these certainly aren’t the only things that may need to go for you to have the life you actually want.

    One thing is certain, you’ll never arrive there—if you don’t leave here.

    You cannot know for certain that you’ll arrive at your desired, imagined, dream life. You can’t be certain of the destination.

    But you can be certain of the launching pad. You can know where you’re leaving from. 

    Row if you must, but go for it

    Lyrics from 2 songs by the only band that matters, the Grateful Dead, apply here.

     The first is from Row Jimmy:

    “And I say row, Jimmy row

    Gonna get there?

    I don’t know

    Seems a common way to go

    Get down, row, row, row

    Row, row”

    The second, from Saint of Circumstance, is like it:

    “Well, I sure don’t know

    What I’m goin’ for

    But I’m gonna go for it, 

    That’s for sure. “

    You have one shot at this life, folks. One shot. And God, it’s a blink. A vapor that passes.

    I especially like pacing suggested by the chorus from Row Jimmy. It’s not Speedboat Jimmy. Nor is it Rocketship Jimmy. It’s Row Jimmy. Sometimes making a change can take time. It takes effort. The pace can feel slow, like a rowboat.

    The second song verse from Saint of Circumstance suggests that the decision to commit to a change can be instant and persistent. You may not know where you’re gonna go. You may have to row to get there. So it may take some time, but making a life worth living is what you’re gonna go for.

    There and back again

    At 19, I traveled all the way across country and back having left home with a $20 bill. I didn’t know how hard it would be to make that trip again, or how long it would take me to do it. I didn’t know the full value of what I was seeing. The places I went were amazing, but I wasn’t as mindful as I’d be now. I was grateful, but not as appreciative as I’ll be the next time. I hope like hell to go across country by car again, but that day may never come. 

    There will never be a good time to do it. Other considerations, other obligations, other clamoring, clutching things will seem to matter and weave an illusory web of importance to keep me stuck if I let them.

    There will never be a good time. If I do it again, there will only be departure time.

    Lastly

    You will face your own sticky web that is keeping you stuck in a life that is not the one you ever envisioned. Free yourself to live your best life.

    I’m not advocating being irresponsible. I’m advocating taking responsibility for your own misery as the only path towards taking responsibility for your own happiness—and go for it. For sure.

  • Do Not Take Yourself Too Seriously—No One Else Does

    Do Not Take Yourself Too Seriously—No One Else Does

    Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously - Like this sailboat, you are in motion and changing.
    Photo by Kristel Hayes on Unsplash

    # 67 on my 99 Life Tips–A List is: Do not take yourself too seriously. You aren’t the same you as you were at five, or perhaps at twenty-five. You are fluid and dynamic. Today’s “you” may vanish tomorrow, just as a stormy, wind-tossed ocean may tomorrow be as smooth as glass.

    Learn to laugh at yourself

    The ability to laugh at oneself is a life skill to cultivate. It’s tied to the realization, often hard won, that you are fallible and sometimes weak but still resilient and worthy of love. You are a work in progress. The edits aren’t all in. So don’t take this present draft, this iteration, too seriously. 

    The capacity for change is one of the enduring and ennobling traits of this life. From birth, we change and morph and develop and grow. Our beliefs vacillate, our energies fluctuate, faced with defects we compensate, and all of this admixture forms a distillate; the current self occupying today. 

    So, for the semblance of stability, if we’re both lucky and wise, we discover some values around which to pour concrete and anchor down. We drop anchor on a belief, or a lover, or a quest. You can find us moored there for a while. 

    As sure as the wind changes, our course can change, too. We can hoist the anchor, scrape the barnacles, unfurl the mainsail, and ride the wind. You may not see me here tomorrow. It’s possible tomorrow’s version may be different altogether—other than the wrapper. If I haven’t spoken to you in 5 years, I’ll wager you’re a different person. The physical resemblance might prove vaguely familiar, but internally you will have changed. There is plenteous truth in the trope:

    “We are always in the process of becoming. Self-identity is a fusion of our prior decisions and our current thoughts.”

    ~ Kilroy J. Oldster: Dead Toad Scrolls


    Think of the applications in your life. Your age, your health, your knowledge, your experience; all are in flux. What’s your longest running good habit? Which version of you should we take seriously? Which is the real you?

    Nothing in life is static

    Now, lest I wax too poetic, or else get too serious in a ditty contrived to convince you not to take yourself too seriously, let me encourage you with those words of wisdom that have come to us through the years:

    This too shall pass.

    ~ Anonymous

    I hated hearing that during a struggle. Because in the middle of one you’re consumed. It’s serious business. Sometimes you can’t see your way out or to the other side. But friend, there is a way out, and there is another side. And either way, like it or not, the quote is true, and the struggles we face turn us into different versions of ourselves. I find it helpful to remember neither good fortune nor bad lasts forever, as it says so poignantly in the Grateful Dead’s Stella Blue: 

    “There’s nothing you can hold for very long.”

    ~ Grateful Dead: Stella Blue

    Since our layover on this plane of existence is so brief, let’s not get too bogged down in the mire and minutiae of personal insults and minor snubs. Better to smile, shrug, and move on. Exemplify resilience. On the other hand, when you’re riding high in April, remember not to gloat, May is coming.

    So, let’s laugh more than we cry and love more than we hate and like good boy-scouts, let’s leave things better than we found them. Do not take yourself too seriously. After all, no one is going to remember all the great things you do for yourself, nor all the high-minded opinions you espoused. They’ll remember what you did for them and how you made them feel. Take others seriously and you’ll do a lot more good, receive lots more love, and have a lot more fun.