Greg Proffit Writing

Tag: decency

  • Gentlemen Hold Doors For Women — And Other Relics of a Bygone Era

    Gentlemen Hold Doors For Women — And Other Relics of a Bygone Era

    Gentlemen hold doors for women
    Shutterstock photo by Olena Yakobchuck (licensed to Author)

    # 7 on my, 99 Life Tips – A List is: If you’re a guy, hold doors open for women. For that matter, if you arrive at door first, hold doors open for anyone. This way, if you meet the rare woman offended by your offering, you can explain, ”Hey, I hold doors open for anyone when I get to the door first.”

    This is, or at least used to be, self-explanatory. I’m not talking about sexist chivalry, here. This is just good manners. This is what gentlemen do. Gentlemen hold doors for women.

    I would stop holding a door for a woman who asked me not to, out of respect for her wishes, but it would feel odd to me.

    For that matter, hold doors for everyone

    In daily practice, I hold doors for anyone and everyone if I get to the door first. Sometimes this turns me into the doorman for a few minutes. Those few seconds lost have never cost me anything of importance. Usually, I get a small sip of feeling good about myself for performing a small act of considerate kindness. I don’t view this as a grand gesture. It is not a statement about the comparative strengths of the sexes. Gimme a break. 

    Gentlemen hold doors for women and others just to be good people. There are plenty of good people in the world, but not enough of us consistently act like it. This is one hell of an easy way to act like it.

    Feels weird to make a blog post about something so self-evident. Almost as strange as writing one about wearing a mask during a pandemic, or getting vaccinated to stop its spread. 

    But times are different now. Politeness and consideration are at a premium. Human decency is rare as gold bullion. Being nice without a selfie stick or camera crew is apparently passé. Set yourself apart. Go old school. Hold a door.

  • Tip Well

    Tip well
    Photo by Sam Dan Truong on Unsplash

    # 9 on my, 99 Life Tips – A List is: Be kind to waiters, waitresses, and service personnel. By kind, I mean, tip well. They are human beings doing a tough job. If you’re comfortable with it, ask for a first name, I do.

    You can tell a lot about a person by how well he treats those he’s not obligated or necessarily expected to treat with courtesy, respect, and dignity. I cringe and get angry when I see weak, insecure people act demeaning and degrading towards servers and other persons they consider beneath them. People who are compensating for their own powerlessness should just stay home. Others, aren’t so cringeworthy, they’re just cheap. They may treat others decently, but forget that they survive on tips.

    And courtesy, respect, and dignity – as valuable as those are – won’t buy groceries, or pay bills.

    So, when a tip is called for; in a restaurant, in a hotel, with other service personnel, enlarge your perspective to imagine yourself in their position and treat them the way you’d want to be treated. The pay is well below minimum wage in many of these industries with the expectation that tips will make up the difference. So, if someone does even an average job, pay them for it. They served you directly. Pay them directly. Easy. Think of how different your experience would be if that service worker wasn’t there. In many ways, they make the experience possible. In that light, reward their efforts.

    If you feel the need to teach them a lesson about the virtue and character that accrues from doing low-paying hard work, include a lesson about human kindness and generosity…yours.