Greg Proffit Writing

Tag: decision-making

  • Why You Should Be Motivated By Hope

    Why You Should Be Motivated By Hope

    be motivated by hope more than by fear
    Photo by Don Pinnock on Unsplash

    # 94 on my 99 Life Tips–A List is: As much as lies within you, be motivated by hope more than by fear. 

    For your entire life, two great underlying motivators have debated and fought over all your decisions — hope of gain and fear of loss. These two combatants, working in opposition, have driven you to do, or not do, to opt for, or against, every choice having meaningful results from the time you were old enough to exercise free agency (self-direction in your preferences).

    Scan through a listing of headlines and sub-titles on Medium, or any platform like it. Nearly all seek clicks and readers by triggering hopes or fears. I recently read an interesting article on Medium by Ashley Broadwater that admits playing upon reader’s fears hoping to make headlines go viral. Similarly, look at a news media website. It’s nearly all fear… with a sprinkling of hope. This isn’t a judgement—merely an observation you may not have noticed or framed in these terms. 

    Can you guess which of these is the strongest, most predominant? Do people prove to be motivated by hope more than by fear? Sadly, no. The dominant motivator is fear, as shown in this research paper. 

    Fear has Instagram

    Quicker to act on the brain, fear stimulates a more primal region, causing autonomic physical responses in a way that hope does not. Fear is the Tony Robbins of motivational speakers shouting at your brain. (Not that Tony himself motivates by fear, he’s just bigger and louder—look at his website).

    Hope is meek, mild-mannered Seth Godin. (Compare Seth’s website). Like Seth, Hope relies on an understated, minimalist style and aesthetic. It is an emotional motivator that comes from higher, cortical levels of passive brain activity and more rational and active reasoning. Yes, hope is there, but seems a little unsure of itself, almost apologetic, as if it would be too much of an imposition or interruption if it were suddenly to speak up and assert itself. 

    Not Fear. Like a lie, Fear is halfway around the world before Hope can put on its pants. Except in our case, fear has taken over the brain before you can arouse hope to compete. Hope won’t cause an adrenaline dump. It won’t make your heart climb into your throat. Fear will do both those things then post it on Instagram. 

    These two, one larger and louder, the other more suppressed and quiet, are so ingrained, and one in particular, fear, so deeply rooted into both your physiology and psyche, you may not be aware of either. You cannot see them anymore, you’ve grown so used to them. Which is exactly why I’m writing this. I want you to be aware. You NEED to be aware. You’re making all of your decisions at their behest.

    Fear wins on points

    Fear wins on points as the dominant motivator. But it has an unfair advantage gained by being first to the market, so to speak.

    Neurophysiologists and psychologists agree that fear appeared very early in evolutionary brain development. It is the proverbial lizard-brain. This makes sense. Responding to saber-tooth tigers quickly can save your life more than contemplating Sartre and metaphysics hoping to create more inspirational cave art. Fear is why the art is in caves — and hope is why, even in caves, there is art.

    Think of the fear that would drive humans to live in caves, and the hope that would inspire them to create art on their walls. Beautiful and inspiring isn’t it?

    Fears and hopes and dreams of our own

    And that’s you and me. We have fears that drive us into our own caves. Both you and I seek protection and security. We hate the idea of loss. We are afraid to fail. These fears make us tolerate conditions we would never encourage a loved one to accept. Some fears paralyze our most precious dreams. Until the hope of their realization whispers in our ear, and we take up the pen, or the brush. Other fears cripple our resolve and erode our self-esteem—until we confront our demeaning and demanding boss, break free from an abusive relationship, and go for our hopes.

    Hope, meek, mild-mannered hope is all we have to nudge us forward out of comfort, and safety, and certainty. Hope encourages us with promise, prospect, potential, and possibility in our struggle to overcome fear. We overcome fear, all of it, by reaching for the hope of something better, something more than, even though we put everything at risk to arrive there.

    So, dear friends, as often as you can, be motivated by hope more than by fear. At the very least I hope by reading this you’re stirred to a new cognizance of what motivates you on a day-to-day basis and especially what drives the most impactful, big-picture decisions you make.

    More to say and the takeaway for now

    There is more to say on this subject than can I can address in one article. I’ll be working on related stories on this topic, having only scratched the surface in my background research. The relation of hope and fear to behavioral economics, politics, labor markets, relationships, and social justice movements are all topics I hope to write about. I’m excited to discover more, and I hope my findings will assist in your life’s journey.

    As a writer, I know the mind-crippling fear you must overcome (repeatedly) hoping your work can be meaningful to others—not just scoffed at and cast aside. Kudos to all of you who face down that elemental fear to paint, to sculpt, and to write on the walls of your own caves — and who invite us to take a peak. I see your art, and I see you. I think that’s what you, me, and all creators are hoping for.

    Just take this away; these two principle motivators impact all of your decisions. Scan your history to determine which has prevailed to this point. Motivated by hope, I equipped you with a fresh awareness to help you determine which will prevail as you go forward. It is my earnest hope that you will be motivated by hope more than by fear.

  • The Best Time (Might have been 20 years ago; The Second Best Time is Today)

    The Best Time (Might have been 20 years ago; The Second Best Time is Today)

    The Best Time
    Photo by Mak on Unsplash

    # 38 on my  99 Life Tips–A List is: The best time to pursue your artistic or creative dream is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.

    “1To everything there is a season,

    A time for every purpose under heaven:

    2 A time to be born,

    And a time to die;

    A time to plant,

    And a time to pluck what is planted;

    3 A time to kill,

    And a time to heal;

    A time to break down,

    And a time to build up;

    4 A time to weep,

    And a time to laugh;

    A time to mourn,

    And a time to dance;

    5 A time to cast away stones,

    And a time to gather stones;

    A time to embrace,

    And a time to refrain from embracing;

    6 A time to gain,

    And a time to lose;

    A time to keep,

    And a time to throw away;

    7 A time to tear,

    And a time to sew;

    A time to keep silence,

    And a time to speak;

    8 A time to love,

    And a time to hate;

    A time of war,

    And a time of peace.”

    ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, NKJV

    The undeniable theme is there is a best time for everything 

    Borrowing from a phrase I read recently in The Overstory, by Richard Powers, that the “best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, and the second best time is today,” I am convinced the same is true for artistic, creative pursuits.

    The best time to pursue them is 20 years ago. I wish I could turn back those years and start then, as a younger man, with more time to write more things and potentially reach more people and do more good. But wishing won’t make it so. I have the pleasure of having lived those 20 years and perhaps they have given me more things to write about, so I’m using the second best time… today.

    You should too. You cannot reclaim time lost, but you can prevent losing any more. Stop negotiating against yourself over whether you will pursue your art, your music, your writing, your creative dream, and begin. You won’t regret it. The fear of failure keeping you paralyzed, that seems so big, before you start, evaporates like the morning dew, once you begin. 

    Every creator is afraid. That is the essence of creation. I’m afraid every time I click Publish. To create is to make something never made before. You might fail. People may not like it. 

    So what? 

    If you never try, the people meant to love it, be inspired by it, even be saved by it, won’t be.

    So, since you have today, and since today is still the second best time to start…

    Start.

  • Don’t Speculate—Just Admit You Don’t Know

    Don’t Speculate—Just Admit You Don’t Know

    just admit you don’t know
    Photo by Chris Ainsworth on Unsplash

    # 64 on my, 99 Life Tips–A List is: The wise know that they do not know, are not afraid to admit that they do not know, are wiser for this, and remain undeterred in the effort to know.

    I would reduce this tip to Don’t Speculate!… but the meaning is not exactly the same. Socrates is famous for being wise. Just as famously he did not boast of it. One of the hallmarks of the wise is their willingness to lean in to their own ignorance. The foolish and simple-minded are certain…and almost certainly wrong as a result.

    When you don’t know something (which is often, right?), don’t try to fill in the gaps with guesses, wishes, and hopes. Just admit you don’t know. Speculations won’t get you any closer to factual knowledge and may lead you further astray. Just carefully approach the unknowns armed with what you do know. 

    Back to Socrates for a sec. The method named after him, The Socratic Method, is a question-and-answer style approach to truth detection. Philosopher types refer to this style by the fancy-schmancy name–dialectic. This technical sounding word just means questions and answers between two viewpoints. In the method, the questions are as important as the answers. The questions clarify ideas as they get more and more focused on the essential knowledge sought.

    A follower of this approach learns that defining terms is important. Thus, the method seeks to categorize, catalogue and capture truth in words. This is useful, though one of my favorite words is ineffable, which means, literally, “too great or extreme to be expressed in words.” 

    Ineffable experiences and truths are my personal favorites, but that’s a topic for another day. Admittedly, truths that resist definition, resist dissemination as well.

    For a deeper dive on the topic, written in a very approachable format, read the late Robert Pirsig’s iconic Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

    Returning to the tip at hand, and especially when trying to make a decision, keep in mind what you know, what you don’t know, and what you need to know. The last is the most important point. It bears repeating. Ask yourself what you need to know in order to make the best decision. 

    When you’ve determined what you need to know don’t rely on your own speculations to fill in the answers. If you need to know what someone else thinks in order to make the most informed decision, ask them. Don’t just guess. 

    Now, to wrap this one up with a huge caveat. Lazy, uncaring, ignorance isn’t a trait you want. There is no famous philosopher named Mediocrates. There is nothing admirable about wallowing in the dark.

    When in doubt, be wise–or at least act wise. Don’t speculate, just admit that you don’t know.

  • Life Is A Preferences Menu Writ Large

    Life Is A Preferences Menu Writ Large

    A software preferences menu. Life is a preferences menu writ large.
    Outlook Preferences Menu (Screen Shot by Author)

    # 61 on my, 99 Life Tips – A List is: Know this about people: Everyone chooses what they prefer at all times from the menu of choices available to them.

    Most software has a preferences menu like the one pictured in the image above. This is where you can select your own favorites from the features and options available–your preferences. The software remembers your choices as you use it. Depending on the software, the selectable options are often binary, meaning they are Yes or No, Red or Blue, On or Off. Life is a preferences menu writ large. All of us, always and without exception, choose what we prefer from the menu of options available to us at the time the choice is made.

    What are you doing right now? Reading this? Why, when you could be doing something else? Isn’t it because you prefer to be reading this than the something else you could be doing?

    If you ask yourself the question, ”why am I doing this?” a thousand times in a day, the answer will always be that you prefer whatever it is you’re doing to some other choice you could have made.

    We can think about this in the negative if you like. Behaviorists and economists speak of opportunity cost. This is the idea that if you take one path, it closes the opportunity of taking an alternate path. If you work at one job, you cannot work at another at the same time. The lost potential opportunities are the real costs of the actual choice you make. And the choice you make is because you prefer that one to the opportunities you’re willing to lose.

    There is a difference between preference and desire

    But, as you think about this remember the difference between preferring  something and desiring it. I desire to be in Hawaii right now. But that’s not on my menu of options, or even if it is the expense to fulfill that desire would be too great. So, I’m stuck with my preference to remain at home, in front of my computer, writing this. Among my current menu of available options, this is what I prefer. 

    Does this mean everyone does what they want to do all the time?

    No. People do what they prefer, not necessarily what they want. Preference and desire are not the same thing. Sometimes the choice is between two evils. Neither is wanted, nor desired. Yet a choice must be made. People choose what they prefer, even if it’s not what they want. They will choose one unwanted thing rather than another they want even less.

    Knowing this about people, and about yourself, clears up a lot of confusion about why people do what they do. They do what they do because they prefer it. It cannot be otherwise.

    So, the next time you’re faced with a choice, which will be probably be within the next five minutes, think about this. Think about your menu of options. Becoming an astronaut might not be selectable, becoming nicer might be.

  • The Menu

    Today’s selection affects tomorrow’s offerings

    You are born into this world and within a matter of years an invisible but real menu of options is  yours. Your menu is yours and no one else’s, listing things only you can do in your life. Some of the items on your menu are still there. They are still available to you. Other options have disappeared. They are forever off your menu. They may have vanished when you chose one course rather than another, that is, your choice of one thing, negated the other. They may have disappeared because the opportunity window closed.

    When you die, the opportunity window closes forever. I am not trying to depress or frighten you. The best time to have thought of this was fifteen or twenty years ago. The second best time is now. You have fewer items on your menu today than last year on this date. You may have fewer items than last week, or yesterday. The items on the menu shift and disappear. Some of the items on your menu when you were young are as gone as if you were already dead. This is an almost unbearable sadness when you think about it. 

    This is NOT you, but it will be each of us, one day.

    Don’t think too much about what’s gone. If you’re reading this, you still have a menu. But don’t hesitate either. An option available today, could be gone tomorrow. There remains the possibility that you will make a choice today of such import and impact that new items appear. You can create new options for yourself. While some items fade, disappear, and are gone, others will beckon you onwards to a life still to be lived. All the windows aren’t closed yet against the chill of age. What remains on your menu of choices? What will you have today?

  • The Availability Heuristic

     I recently bumped into a fascinating term with which I was quite familiar by practice, but not by name. It is called the Availability Heuristic. The link will go to a wiki page with a more precise definition and some examples of how the phenomenon applies in various categories of life. 

    In short, the availability heuristic is a mental phenomenon in which a person relies upon the recall of  information that can be brought easily to mind to form the basis for opinions and decisions. (The word heuristic is a fancy term for ”problem-solving” or ”decision-making”.)

    If something can be easily recalled, it is available to the mind to serve for ”facts”, and there is a tendency (bias) to give it more weight and credence. 

    If you spend a week watching Shark Week on television and then are invited to swim in the ocean, your exposure to all of the gruesome shark attacks during the past week will be readily available when you decide whether or not to venture into the water. 

    Nah, there’s nothing to see here.

    The availability heuristic predicts that you will feel a higher probability of a shark encounter than had you not watched all those shows. The actual statistical probability of being attacked does not change a fraction based upon your television habits or your ability to recall the frightening scenes. Meanwhile, you remain blissfully ignorant of the much higher statistical probability of being involved in a serious car accident on the way to the beach.

    Immersion in any pool of information makes it seem more true and more predominant than it may actually be. 

    This bias is exactly what gives rise to social media ”Echo Chambers” regarding political, social, and cultural views. 

    Exposure shapes opinion. Opinion shapes worldview. Be careful out there.

  • Which Do You Prefer?

    Every person, myriad times throughout each day makes decisions about what to say or do from the menu of options available to them at the time of the choice. 

    This bears unpacking a bit. You are reading this right now. You could have chosen to do something else instead. But reading this showed up on the menu of choices available to you and you chose to do so. This process was in play before you knew about it, and it will continue now that you do know about it. 

    Not all options are available to choose at all times. Neither of us can fly to the moon, or even across the room under our own power, for instance, even if we desired to do so. And, to be certain, there is a catalogue of historical debate amongst philosophers and behaviorists over whether or not any of us is truly free when we choose any action. That is the age-old debate over ”free-will” vs. determinism. I am unqualified to dive too deeply into those waters, though I have taken a swim in them from time to time.

    I’m writing to bring attention to the fact that when we act as if we are free to choose, there is something driving and impelling those choices. That something I will call ”preference”. There are two or more options available on the menu; and the one we choose is the one we prefer. How could it be otherwise? 

    I’m writing this now, at this moment, rather than doom-scrolling through Twitter, crawling back into a warm bed, going for a walk in thirty degree drizzle, reading news, turning on the television, etc. I’m writing because it is what I prefer to be doing with this slot of time, energy, and attention more than anything else I could be doing. You are doing the same thing.

    It is important to note that preference does not equal desire. I have desires that I may actually prefer more than my current choice, but at the time of my choosing they were not on the available menu. I desire to be walking a secluded beach with my girlfriend in seventy degree weather with a light breeze in our hair, watching the sun come up over the ocean. But that is not on this morning’s menu. I’m sure you have desires like that.

    Our choices are driven by our preferences. This phenomenon is a fact we experience over and over. This is what makes the concept of free will feel true. Seen in that light, no one can take away another’s free will, because there is no power that can be exerted to take away another’s preference as long as more than one choice is available. You may severely limit the menu of options available to an individual. You may wickedly create for them a reality that is a constant choice between the lesser of two evils. But you cannot take away their ability to choose what they prefer from the remaining options.

    This realization has helped me interpret both my own choices and behaviors as well as those of  others. Watch what someone does or refuses to do. Listen to what they say or refuse to say. You are seeing the external manifestations of their internal preferences, moment by moment, event by event, day by day.

    I am overweight because on the whole, I prefer it to the effort and attentiveness that is necessary to lose the extra pounds. I work for my self as a commissioned salesman, with all of its accompanying risks, because I prefer it to a rigid schedule and losing autonomy in my workday.

    The example of overweight-ness is illustrative of the fact that preferential choices happen in the moment. They are myopic. They are not contemplative of the long game, unless…unless you put that contemplation on the menu. Because to be sure, I prefer health to obesity, in general. I prefer activity to lethargy, in general. I prefer self-control to sloth or gluttony, in principle. 

    A key then to making better choices, is to pick those which will be a balance of preferred outcomes both in the present and into the future.