Tag: decisions

  • The Best Time (Might have been 20 years ago; The Second Best Time is Today)

    The Best Time (Might have been 20 years ago; The Second Best Time is Today)

    The Best Time
    Photo by Mak on Unsplash

    # 38 on my  99 Life Tips–A List is: The best time to pursue your artistic or creative dream is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.

    “1To everything there is a season,

    A time for every purpose under heaven:

    2 A time to be born,

    And a time to die;

    A time to plant,

    And a time to pluck what is planted;

    3 A time to kill,

    And a time to heal;

    A time to break down,

    And a time to build up;

    4 A time to weep,

    And a time to laugh;

    A time to mourn,

    And a time to dance;

    5 A time to cast away stones,

    And a time to gather stones;

    A time to embrace,

    And a time to refrain from embracing;

    6 A time to gain,

    And a time to lose;

    A time to keep,

    And a time to throw away;

    7 A time to tear,

    And a time to sew;

    A time to keep silence,

    And a time to speak;

    8 A time to love,

    And a time to hate;

    A time of war,

    And a time of peace.”

    ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, NKJV

    The undeniable theme is there is a best time for everything 

    Borrowing from a phrase I read recently in The Overstory, by Richard Powers, that the “best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, and the second best time is today,” I am convinced the same is true for artistic, creative pursuits.

    The best time to pursue them is 20 years ago. I wish I could turn back those years and start then, as a younger man, with more time to write more things and potentially reach more people and do more good. But wishing won’t make it so. I have the pleasure of having lived those 20 years and perhaps they have given me more things to write about, so I’m using the second best time… today.

    You should too. You cannot reclaim time lost, but you can prevent losing any more. Stop negotiating against yourself over whether you will pursue your art, your music, your writing, your creative dream, and begin. You won’t regret it. The fear of failure keeping you paralyzed, that seems so big, before you start, evaporates like the morning dew, once you begin. 

    Every creator is afraid. That is the essence of creation. I’m afraid every time I click Publish. To create is to make something never made before. You might fail. People may not like it. 

    So what? 

    If you never try, the people meant to love it, be inspired by it, even be saved by it, won’t be.

    So, since you have today, and since today is still the second best time to start…

    Start.

  • Life Is A Preferences Menu Writ Large

    Life Is A Preferences Menu Writ Large

    A software preferences menu. Life is a preferences menu writ large.
    Outlook Preferences Menu (Screen Shot by Author)

    61 on my, 99 Life Tips – A List is: Know this about people: Everyone chooses what they prefer at all times from the menu of choices available to them.

    Most software has a preferences menu like the one pictured in the image above. This is where you can select your own favorites from the features and options available–your preferences. The software remembers your choices as you use it. Depending on the software, the selectable options are often binary, meaning they are Yes or No, Red or Blue, On or Off. Life is a preferences menu writ large. All of us, always and without exception, choose what we prefer from the menu of options available to us at the time the choice is made.

    What are you doing right now? Reading this? Why, when you could be doing something else? Isn’t it because you prefer to be reading this than the something else you could be doing?

    If you ask yourself the question, ”why am I doing this?” a thousand times in a day, the answer will always be that you prefer whatever it is you’re doing to some other choice you could have made.

    We can think about this in the negative if you like. Behaviorists and economists speak of opportunity cost. This is the idea that if you take one path, it closes the opportunity of taking an alternate path. If you work at one job, you cannot work at another at the same time. The lost potential opportunities are the real costs of the actual choice you make. And the choice you make is because you prefer that one to the opportunities you’re willing to lose.

    There is a difference between preference and desire

    But, as you think about this remember the difference between preferring  something and desiring it. I desire to be in Hawaii right now. But that’s not on my menu of options, or even if it is the expense to fulfill that desire would be too great. So, I’m stuck with my preference to remain at home, in front of my computer, writing this. Among my current menu of available options, this is what I prefer. 

    Does this mean everyone does what they want to do all the time?

    No. People do what they prefer, not necessarily what they want. Preference and desire are not the same thing. Sometimes the choice is between two evils. Neither is wanted, nor desired. Yet a choice must be made. People choose what they prefer, even if it’s not what they want. They will choose one unwanted thing rather than another they want even less.

    Knowing this about people, and about yourself, clears up a lot of confusion about why people do what they do. They do what they do because they prefer it. It cannot be otherwise.

    So, the next time you’re faced with a choice, which will be probably be within the next five minutes, think about this. Think about your menu of options. Becoming an astronaut might not be selectable, becoming nicer might be.

  • Which Do You Prefer?

    Every person, myriad times throughout each day makes decisions about what to say or do from the menu of options available to them at the time of the choice. 

    This bears unpacking a bit. You are reading this right now. You could have chosen to do something else instead. But reading this showed up on the menu of choices available to you and you chose to do so. This process was in play before you knew about it, and it will continue now that you do know about it. 

    Not all options are available to choose at all times. Neither of us can fly to the moon, or even across the room under our own power, for instance, even if we desired to do so. And, to be certain, there is a catalogue of historical debate amongst philosophers and behaviorists over whether or not any of us is truly free when we choose any action. That is the age-old debate over ”free-will” vs. determinism. I am unqualified to dive too deeply into those waters, though I have taken a swim in them from time to time.

    I’m writing to bring attention to the fact that when we act as if we are free to choose, there is something driving and impelling those choices. That something I will call ”preference”. There are two or more options available on the menu; and the one we choose is the one we prefer. How could it be otherwise? 

    I’m writing this now, at this moment, rather than doom-scrolling through Twitter, crawling back into a warm bed, going for a walk in thirty degree drizzle, reading news, turning on the television, etc. I’m writing because it is what I prefer to be doing with this slot of time, energy, and attention more than anything else I could be doing. You are doing the same thing.

    It is important to note that preference does not equal desire. I have desires that I may actually prefer more than my current choice, but at the time of my choosing they were not on the available menu. I desire to be walking a secluded beach with my girlfriend in seventy degree weather with a light breeze in our hair, watching the sun come up over the ocean. But that is not on this morning’s menu. I’m sure you have desires like that.

    Our choices are driven by our preferences. This phenomenon is a fact we experience over and over. This is what makes the concept of free will feel true. Seen in that light, no one can take away another’s free will, because there is no power that can be exerted to take away another’s preference as long as more than one choice is available. You may severely limit the menu of options available to an individual. You may wickedly create for them a reality that is a constant choice between the lesser of two evils. But you cannot take away their ability to choose what they prefer from the remaining options.

    This realization has helped me interpret both my own choices and behaviors as well as those of  others. Watch what someone does or refuses to do. Listen to what they say or refuse to say. You are seeing the external manifestations of their internal preferences, moment by moment, event by event, day by day.

    I am overweight because on the whole, I prefer it to the effort and attentiveness that is necessary to lose the extra pounds. I work for my self as a commissioned salesman, with all of its accompanying risks, because I prefer it to a rigid schedule and losing autonomy in my workday.

    The example of overweight-ness is illustrative of the fact that preferential choices happen in the moment. They are myopic. They are not contemplative of the long game, unless…unless you put that contemplation on the menu. Because to be sure, I prefer health to obesity, in general. I prefer activity to lethargy, in general. I prefer self-control to sloth or gluttony, in principle. 

    A key then to making better choices, is to pick those which will be a balance of preferred outcomes both in the present and into the future.