Greg Proffit Writing

Tag: life

  • Set

    This is surfing…

    Years ago, on vacation in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, I awoke at dawn to go for a walk on the beach, and I saw a curious sight. A guy on a bike was pedaling across the parking lot from the street, pumping away with one hand on the handlebars and the other gripping a surfboard perched precariously on his shoulder. The board was at least twelve feet long. 

    I glanced seaward and saw six or so surfers out in the cold, gray, early morning waters. NSB is known for two things: surfing and shark bites. 

    The cyclist chained his bike to a post and carried his board over to where I was staring out at the early-bird surfers. Some were prone on their boards paddling out into the breakers, some were sitting straddle-legged, bobbing in the swell, just beyond the whitecaps, looking out to sea over their shoulders towards the rising sun.

    I stood there for a few minutes watching, when I noticed the guy with the ultra-long board hadn’t budged. I said, ”Aren’t you gonna join them?”

    He kicked at some sand, kept peering intently at the sea, and said, ”Nah man, there’s no set.”

    I realized I hadn’t actually seen anyone up on their board riding a wave yet. Waves were breaking but the kids in the water kept re-positioning themselves, occasionally paddling furiously to try to catch a whitecap and giving up. 

    ”That’d just be a lot of wasted time,” the leather-tanned surfer said, squinting into the morning sun, ”Maybe later.” And with that he turned and padded barefoot back to his bike.

    That morning has stuck with me as a metaphor for wasted effort. The people in the water weren’t ”surfing”. They were wet, they had surf boards, they were cresting whitecaps, but they weren’t surfing. Surfing happens when you match your timing, positioning, and skill with energy that the wave provides. And when the waves are broken and irregular and without a ”set”, you spend more energy than the ocean does.

    Mr. Longboard had come to surf, not just to get wet. Since the conditions weren’t cooperative, he wasn’t wasting his time and effort. He was experienced enough to know it would have been a lost cause.

    Similar events happen in our lives. Times when we are maxing out effort but there is no flow, and few results. We’re busy, but not productive. Sometimes, it’s a conversation where the other person just isn’t hearing, no matter how many different ways you try to say it. Sometimes, it’s adverse market conditions. Or when the environment makes it impossible to concentrate and do your best work. And sometimes we give it our all, but things beyond our control prevent the results we’re hoping for. It’s important to recognize that it isn’t always about you. 

    We can learn to maximize the return on our efforts. We can be aware of opportunities to meld effort, skill, and timing to get the best results. And we can learn to spot when there is a ”set” and be ready to ride.

  • Do Not Waste Emotional Energy

    # 10 on my 99 Life Tips–A List is: Do not waste emotional energy over anything you cannot control. This does not apply to sadness or grief over tragedy or loss.

    My favorite athlete to watch in an individual sport is Rafael Nadal. He is currently second behind only Roger Federer in number of Grand Slam tennis titles won. If you don’t know who he is, you can look him up.

    I like him because he is the rare combination of innate talent with an unmatched, ferocious work ethic. He is also humble in victory.

    He is known for his relentless, never give up, never-quit-on-a-point effort. That, and his weird OCD including a ritual of pre-serve tics, and precision water and juice bottle placement. It’s fascinating to watch him place his juice down and give it an eighth of a twist to get the label pointing in just the right direction. As if that will matter.

    Rafa never argues calls that go against him. He never complains about points he loses. He just moves on to the next point. When asked about the apparent discrepancy of being meticulous about juice bottles and yet not arguing even questionable calls, he said, ”I don’t waste emotional energy on things I cannot control.”

    That.

    In a life with finite energy available. It’s better to spend it twisting a bottle you can control, than to argue with a referee you cannot. It’s very important to recognize the difference.

    You and I will never be Nadal. It’s rarified air to reach the summit of your field or profession, so that’s likely out of reach, too. But we can learn from him where not to waste our emotional energy.

  • COVID At One Year

    Student’s of history recognize patterns of cause and effect when reviewing a course of events. Being familiar with the stories and actors of the past helps them spot similarities, discrepancies, and precedents. This is more than just the ability to memorize dates. It is the ability to step back with a wider perspective to see connections and correlations where the past is informing the present.

    One of my favorite historians, Will Durant, employed a fantastic phrase that encapsulates much of what makes the knowledge of history invaluable for understanding the present.

    ”The present is the past, rolled up for action…and the past is the present unrolled for understanding.”

    Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the first Covid death in the United States. As of this morning, there have been just under half a million since that first one. That’s an average of 1233 deaths per day, but the worst month by far was January. There is a long way to go before the United States records its last Covid death. It is a national failure.

    I cannot find a historical precedent for the past year. I can find examples for widespread selfishness. There are certainly periods of widespread ignorance. I cannot find an American year where the two married as they did in 2020. 

    I think I’m not too far out on a limb to say that Selfishness combined with Ignorance is a careless Killer. 

    I don’t hold out much hope of either cause being reduced very soon. 

  • The Golden Rule

    I am not a believer in socially or culturally relative ethics. I believe that ethical standards are based on principles that are more absolute. There are behaviors that are wrong in all worlds and at all times. People smarter than I am disagree about this.

    The ”golden rule” is a statement about ethical behavior that has widespread support across many religious traditions and cultures. Simply stated it enjoins a human to treat all other humans the way they want to be treated.

    Most people who consider ethical behavior at all think of it in terms of the restraints it imposes on behavior. They see ethics in the same light as religious systems, intent on the negative aspects, focusing on what ethics or a religion tells them not to do, and what to avoid.

    There are two related versions of this basic ethics that come from the Judeo-Christian tradition. – One says, ”Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” 

    – and the other, ”Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” 

    These two are nearly identical. Interesting that the verbs in both versions are proactive and positive. Interesting that neither one tells us what not to do, but rather what to do.

    Also of note is that neither says, ”Think kind thoughts about your neighbor…”.

    Now ”doing” may involve thinking, but it doesn’t stop with thoughts alone, right? This has some implications a lot us haven’t fully considered. 

    What if we looked at the golden rule as a positive? What if each of us has the ability to knit the fabric of our social net more perfectly together? What if the simplicity of consistently, actively, doing good to your neighbor is the greatest possible thing you can do to change the world?

  • Exploration vs. Exploitation—Why You Should Know How To Do Both

    # 95 on my 99 Life Tips–A List is: Learn when to explore and when to exploit. Know how to do both.

    I first heard the concept of Exploration vs. Exploitation in the 2016 book by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths called Algorithms to Live By: The Computer Science of Human Decisions.

    Briefly, exploration involves the discovery of something new.

    Exploitation involves mining a previously discovered pleasure to extract more pleasure.

    Both have their uses. Both are valuable to a life well-lived. A good life consists in large part in the enjoyment of good experiences. Those experiences must first be discovered. Once found, a determination is made about whether it should be tried again.

    We are each living on borrowed time. Time that is ticking away. Do we explore? Or exploit?

    Back in the time when we could safely venture to do something as dangerous as eat in close proximity to total strangers in a restaurant, did you prefer visiting different restaurants or going to a favorite? Once there, did you like to try new items on the menu or did you order the same thing every time regardless of how tempting another selection might be?

    When contemplating a vacation, (another on the list of past dangers) do you yearn to see a place you’ve never been, or do you crave the experience of a familiar beach, bar, and scenery?

    The authors of the book suggested that the younger one is, the more likely the scale will tip towards exploration. I think they’re right and that this is part of why the young have had a much harder time with Covid isolation.

    This seems obvious, right? The younger one is, the more every new experience is virgin territory. Our younger selves don’t know what is worth exploiting. But, I think the inverse may also be true. Youth causes exploration, sure, but exploration also causes one to remain youthful (in outlook at least). Each new thing, even a new idea, is something tried out for the first time. It hearkens back to the time when every thing we tried was new. 

    On the other hand, exploitation is a key component of a contented life. I am not interested in a life I feel the need to escape from once or twice a year to go and live for a week or two the way that I really want to be living. What kind of life is that?

    I want to craft a life surrounded by books, music, coffee, wine, bourbon, foods, a best-friend-who-is-my-lover; a life that can be exploited each day for the simple pleasures that are just as rich at the hundredth or thousandth tasting as they were the day I discovered them.

    I’m the guy who finds a restaurant and eats the same thing on the menu each time. Now, I may like 20 restaurants, each for 20 separate things; but I can’t thing of a single restaurant where I’d be interested to try 20 different things from the menu believing each one would be as good as my favorite thing, the selection that keeps bringing me back, the one I exploit.

    How about you. Do you prefer exploring or exploiting more? Has that balance changed as you’ve aged? Time’s a wastin’!

  • The Problem With Anger — It Will Not Achieve The Result You Want

    Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

    ~ James 1:19,20

    # 19 on my 99 Life Tips–A List is: Anger will not achieve the result you want. If you’re angry, keep your mouth shut.

    I beg those of my readers who don’t consider themselves to be adherents to the Christian traditions, or see themselves as convinced by an appeal to scripture, just bear with me. Follow my thoughts with an open mind to the end, and with an eye towards your own past experiences.

    I can attest to the truth of the above verses in my own life. I’ve had more dramatic scenes of anger, wrath, and righteous indignation than I care to count. Times when I could not hear. I could not see. I could not think straight. A few instances in particular stand out. I will spare you the details. Suffice it to say, no one involved had any doubt about my emotional state.

    Anger has never achieved my desired result

    But NOT ONE TIME have I lashed out in anger and achieved the result I really wanted. In my entire life. Not…one…time.

    Search your own memory banks. Remember the last time you were so angry you couldn’t see straight? You struck out in the throes of that feeling, so certain of your righteousness that no argument could convince you otherwise. How did that situation turn out? Did it go the way you wanted?

    Your mileage may vary. I can only testify to my own experience. 

    When I feel angry now, I am immediately certain that if I speak or act, I will be wrong. When I am angry now, it is an indicator that I am far from the kind of person who can be a vessel of the righteousness of God.

    I’m writing this because our nation is torn apart. We treat each other, Americans, even ones who grew up together, as if we’re sworn enemies. We’ve been co-opted into believing that anyone with a different political view is a villain. We’re told that the “others” aren’t American, and they aren’t putting “America First”. That they are “taking your country”! We’ve lost our collective minds!

    I challenge you to watch the events of January 6th with James in mind. Listen to the run-up. Listen to the speeches playing upon fear, prejudice, paranoia, just stoking up the anger to a boiling venomous cauldron. Are these people quick to hear the other side? Slow to speak about them or to them?

    I’m not sure what those who marched on the Capital thought they were doing. They were acting like they believed their anger would produce the righteousness of God.

    The words of Scripture above reveal that deception for exactly what it is.

    I just want to ask you…my brother…my sister…are you angry?

    “Well, You say you want a Revolution, you better change your mind instead.”

    ~ The Beatles: Revolution

  • Creation v. Distribution

    If you want to share the things you create; art, music, writing, crafts; you will reach a dilemma that involves dividing your time between creating, and learning how to effectively share what you’ve created. 

    You will have to think about, research, compare, decide upon, engage with, manipulate, conduct trials, learn from errors, and finally, implement channels of distribution. Then, you will have to analyze the results, make adjustments, and maybe even go a different direction to reach your target audience.

    You will be forced to divide your energy and your precious fleeting time between the creative and the administrative, between the producer and the distributor, the manufacturer and the salesman. 

    All the links in the chain are important, but not equally so. All have their place, but must be ordered properly. All are useful, but only a few are necessary. The effort to create does not occupy the same mental space or attention as that required to promote and market and distribute, because creation and distribution utilize different skillsets. Do not lose sight of what is truly valuable in the chain. 

    There is no need of a market without a product. 

    Be careful to get the best return on your investment of time, attention, and energy. Maximize your strengths at all times. This is more valuable than improving your weaknesses. 

    Selling one’s wares can take on a life of its own with an insatiable appetite that eats the maker of the wares. 

  • We

    The framers of the United States Constitution faced a daunting task. In 1787, fresh from the heady, yet costly victory of the nine-year Revolutionary War, they met in Philadelphia to formulate the charter documents. After months of debate, sometimes heated, sometimes personal, they penned the preamble to the foundational document of the burgeoning nation, with these words, “We the People…”. 

    Taking an even more granular view, it is evident that the first of these most cherished words is the simple word, pregnant with profound meaning, “We.”

    If enough of us would stop and consider this simple fact, if WE would think of the implications of the use of that word, WE would instantly begin the process that, if followed, would achieve the re-uniting and healing of the Country.

  • To Facebook, or not to Facebook? That is the question.

    Last night I reconnected to Facebook after a multi-year hiatus. I left in anger over the revelation of Facebook’s secret mental health experiment in 2012 that targeted 700,000 users.. Facebook developers decided it would be interesting to see if they could alter user’s behaviors by creating algorithms to display articles, ads, and pages with emotionally negative keywords.

    It turns out they could affect behavior. Specifically, the more users saw negative keywords in their Facebook feeds, the more they began to create posts with similarly negative content. I was outraged. I have a daughter that was in the midst of some severe mental health challenges and I knew she was addicted to Facebook.

    She may or may not have been one of the 700,000 guinea pigs in Facebook’s “research”, but the fact remains that what we are fed by social media algorithms affects what we then “produce”. It turns out that even in the digital world we are what we eat.

    Here we are, years later, now in a toxic political environment threatening our nation, and once again, it’s fueled in large measure by social media. It turns out that the political radicalization has occurred by Facebook suggesting and feeding extreme groups to users based on their past usage patterns. We are all just a “digital profile” based upon the aggregate of our clicks, likes, and time spent on a video, images, etc.

    I’m here for now, but I’m aware and I will keep one foot out the door.

    The story linked below from 2014 has more details about the psychological experiment, and how it was justified by Facebook.

    https://abcnews.go.com/Health/consented-facebooks-social-experiment/story?id=24368579

  • Which Do You Prefer?

    Every person, myriad times throughout each day makes decisions about what to say or do from the menu of options available to them at the time of the choice. 

    This bears unpacking a bit. You are reading this right now. You could have chosen to do something else instead. But reading this showed up on the menu of choices available to you and you chose to do so. This process was in play before you knew about it, and it will continue now that you do know about it. 

    Not all options are available to choose at all times. Neither of us can fly to the moon, or even across the room under our own power, for instance, even if we desired to do so. And, to be certain, there is a catalogue of historical debate amongst philosophers and behaviorists over whether or not any of us is truly free when we choose any action. That is the age-old debate over ”free-will” vs. determinism. I am unqualified to dive too deeply into those waters, though I have taken a swim in them from time to time.

    I’m writing to bring attention to the fact that when we act as if we are free to choose, there is something driving and impelling those choices. That something I will call ”preference”. There are two or more options available on the menu; and the one we choose is the one we prefer. How could it be otherwise? 

    I’m writing this now, at this moment, rather than doom-scrolling through Twitter, crawling back into a warm bed, going for a walk in thirty degree drizzle, reading news, turning on the television, etc. I’m writing because it is what I prefer to be doing with this slot of time, energy, and attention more than anything else I could be doing. You are doing the same thing.

    It is important to note that preference does not equal desire. I have desires that I may actually prefer more than my current choice, but at the time of my choosing they were not on the available menu. I desire to be walking a secluded beach with my girlfriend in seventy degree weather with a light breeze in our hair, watching the sun come up over the ocean. But that is not on this morning’s menu. I’m sure you have desires like that.

    Our choices are driven by our preferences. This phenomenon is a fact we experience over and over. This is what makes the concept of free will feel true. Seen in that light, no one can take away another’s free will, because there is no power that can be exerted to take away another’s preference as long as more than one choice is available. You may severely limit the menu of options available to an individual. You may wickedly create for them a reality that is a constant choice between the lesser of two evils. But you cannot take away their ability to choose what they prefer from the remaining options.

    This realization has helped me interpret both my own choices and behaviors as well as those of  others. Watch what someone does or refuses to do. Listen to what they say or refuse to say. You are seeing the external manifestations of their internal preferences, moment by moment, event by event, day by day.

    I am overweight because on the whole, I prefer it to the effort and attentiveness that is necessary to lose the extra pounds. I work for my self as a commissioned salesman, with all of its accompanying risks, because I prefer it to a rigid schedule and losing autonomy in my workday.

    The example of overweight-ness is illustrative of the fact that preferential choices happen in the moment. They are myopic. They are not contemplative of the long game, unless…unless you put that contemplation on the menu. Because to be sure, I prefer health to obesity, in general. I prefer activity to lethargy, in general. I prefer self-control to sloth or gluttony, in principle. 

    A key then to making better choices, is to pick those which will be a balance of preferred outcomes both in the present and into the future.