Greg Proffit Writing

Tag: lifehacks

  • Do The Hardest Thing First — Always Be Working Toward Easier

    Do The Hardest Thing First — Always Be Working Toward Easier

    do the hardest thing first
    Shutterstock image licensed by Author

    # 96 on my 99 Life Tips–A List is: Do the hardest thing first. Move the heaviest thing first is like it. Always be working towards easier.

    “Eat a live frog every morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” 

    ~Mark Twain

    Here is a link to a fellow Medium writer,Saimadhu Polamuri’s, book review on the business productivity tome, Eat That Frog, by Brian Tracy. You can read it to learn more about the business and productivity applications of this principle.

    But I didn’t learn the concept of doing the hardest, least pleasant thing, first, from Mark Twain, Brian Tracy, or Saimadhu. I got it from my Uncle Kurt building houses and learning the construction trade.

    On a construction site, the lowest person on the totem pole is a “grunt”, the same term used for the lowest ranked infantry soldier in the army. Grunts get the dirty jobs, and the dirty jobs are usually unskilled ones, like hauling lumber. 

    Lumber loads

    Intermittently, while working on a project, lumber trucks would deliver truckloads of lumber banded together with metal straps to keep the load secure on the back of the truck. Once offloaded, the lumber had to be sorted into kinds and then carried to strategic positions on the job site. It would be horribly inefficient for the more skilled lawman, for instance, to have to retrieve a board for every cut. The sawyer and his helper pull new stock for cutting from a pile of boards ready to hand. That pile doesn’t magically move itself to the saw station though. A grunt carries it there, board by board, depending on the dimension of the lumber being carried.

    Kiln-dried spruce studs, pre-cut to 93-inch lengths are light. Almost airy compared to pressure treated yellow pine 2 x 12’s, called two-by-twelves, that might be 16 to 20 feet long. And four-by-eight sheets of plywood (in this case 4-feet by 8-feet) are not only heavy, they are unwieldy. They don’t walk themselves to the correct place on the site, ready for cutting or assembly.

    Crowning boards

    My uncle taught me how to identify the board types by width and length. He taught me how to crown dimensional lumber, too. Crowning involves quickly sighting down the length of a board to see which way it curves. No piece of lumber is perfectly straight. Or, at least it’s rare to find a perfectly straight board. Once crowned, I marked the edge of the board at one end with my carpenter’s pencil, jabbing out a quick inverted “V” called a carrot, with the point touching the crowned side of the board. 

    It amazes and distresses me to walk into a house under construction, site down a wall, and see waving undulations. The carpenters did not crown the boards so they would at least all curve in the same direction, giving the illusion of straightness. These undulations are amplified and noticeable once sheetrock is hung and trim molding or cabinetry is fastened to the wavy walls.

    .

    And crowning floor joists is even more important. You always want the crowns up so that the load of weight placed on the floor will have the tendency to straighten the boards. Floor joists should never have crowns facing down, which will create a shallow depression in the floor. You don’t want them will-nilly either, which will make the floor feel like it’s rolling underfoot depending on the finished flooring material.

    Simple Logic

    Anyway, now that you know all about crowing lumber, back to eating frogs, and why you should do the hardest thing first.

    Once marked, I had to carry the boards. My uncle taught me to carry the heaviest, longest boards first. The only exception was if I had to carry boards a further distance. Then I might start with lighter boards, trading distance for weight. The energy expenditure amounted to the same thing. I worked my way through a lumber pile exactly like this each time we received a delivery.

    My Uncle’s rationale made perfect sense to me. 

    He asked, “Are you going to be more or less tired after carrying the first board?”

    “More,” I said.

    “Right,” agreed my uncle, “then don’t you want to carry the lightest boards when you’re the least tired?”

    “Yes, sir,” I allowed.

    And so that’s the way I did it. I carried the heaviest boards the furthest distance, reserving my strength and knowing each trip to the lumber pile was getting easier. 

    That’s the way I’ve tackled life ever since. I do the hardest thing first. Then every subsequent thing feels a little easier. I’m always working towards the next easiest thing. Working this way shrinks a huge stack of lumber, and it shrinks problems, and it helps you give your best to your least favorite necessities. You should try it, too. Do the hardest thing first, everything is easier from there on.

  • How You Feel Matters Less Than What You Do—Refocus Your Attention For Better Results

    How You Feel Matters Less Than What You Do—Refocus Your Attention For Better Results

    How you feel matters less than what you do
    (Adobe Stock Image: Licensed to Author)

    # 74 on my, 99 Life Tips–A List is: Think less about how you feel and more about what you should do.

    The people I know who spend the most time analyzing how they feel consistently feel the worst. I may confuse correlation with causation, a common problem, but the predictability of this outcome led to the tip above. 

    For consistently better feelings, how you feel matters less than what you do. If you will refocus your attention, you’ll feel better,… and be more productive, to boot.

    I’m on a sometimes weight loss (sometimes weight gain) regimen known by its common name as a “diet”. To track progress, I stand on a scale hoping it doesn’t chuckle and say, “One at a time, please.” I can see the number. It is measurable, serving as an indicator of whether I can afford to drink a beer. 

    There is no empirical scale for emotional states

    Seriously though, emotional states don’t work that way. There is no objective, empirical scale. 

    Asking someone whose emotional states fluctuate dangerously how they feel on a subjective 5-point scale is the equivalent of asking an obviously drunk person if they’re drunk, and what they think they’d blow. Chances are high you will not get an accurate answer.

    Maybe I’m different, but whenever asked to pick from three emoticon faces ranging from sad—to neutral—to happy, nine times out of ten, I’m neutral. I seldom think about how I feel. 

    When I feel good, I just enjoy it. It doesn’t occur to me to stop and evaluate whether I’m at a 3.5 or 4. If I feel bad; I figure out why, what I’m thinking, what it would look like fixed, and what I can do about it. I don’t ponder whether I’m feeling a dismal 1 or perhaps as high as a 2. Degree is irrelevant.

    If you get stuck here, analyzing and cataloguing your feelings, you may wish to reconsider. How effective is it? What does your subjective answer about your subjective feelings tell you except in the most general terms?

    It is important to know how things make you feel so that you can do something to either recreate them or eliminate them. The action you take is the key thing.

    I’ve written about the relationship between emotions and thoughts, so this is where I start when I feel bad. My thinking is the usual culprit. I don’t start by figuring out how bad I feel. I don’t press on my emotions like I do bruises. If I feel bad at all, that’s bad enough to take action.

    You most definitely figure out what you’re feeling so you can act accordingly. What you feel and how much you feel are different. Yes, figure out what you’re feeling; think less about how you’re feeling, and figure out what you should do. 

    Because ultimately, how you feel matters less than what you do.

  • Do Not Take Yourself Too Seriously—No One Else Does

    Do Not Take Yourself Too Seriously—No One Else Does

    Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously - Like this sailboat, you are in motion and changing.
    Photo by Kristel Hayes on Unsplash

    # 67 on my 99 Life Tips–A List is: Do not take yourself too seriously. You aren’t the same you as you were at five, or perhaps at twenty-five. You are fluid and dynamic. Today’s “you” may vanish tomorrow, just as a stormy, wind-tossed ocean may tomorrow be as smooth as glass.

    Learn to laugh at yourself

    The ability to laugh at oneself is a life skill to cultivate. It’s tied to the realization, often hard won, that you are fallible and sometimes weak but still resilient and worthy of love. You are a work in progress. The edits aren’t all in. So don’t take this present draft, this iteration, too seriously. 

    The capacity for change is one of the enduring and ennobling traits of this life. From birth, we change and morph and develop and grow. Our beliefs vacillate, our energies fluctuate, faced with defects we compensate, and all of this admixture forms a distillate; the current self occupying today. 

    So, for the semblance of stability, if we’re both lucky and wise, we discover some values around which to pour concrete and anchor down. We drop anchor on a belief, or a lover, or a quest. You can find us moored there for a while. 

    As sure as the wind changes, our course can change, too. We can hoist the anchor, scrape the barnacles, unfurl the mainsail, and ride the wind. You may not see me here tomorrow. It’s possible tomorrow’s version may be different altogether—other than the wrapper. If I haven’t spoken to you in 5 years, I’ll wager you’re a different person. The physical resemblance might prove vaguely familiar, but internally you will have changed. There is plenteous truth in the trope:

    “We are always in the process of becoming. Self-identity is a fusion of our prior decisions and our current thoughts.”

    ~ Kilroy J. Oldster: Dead Toad Scrolls


    Think of the applications in your life. Your age, your health, your knowledge, your experience; all are in flux. What’s your longest running good habit? Which version of you should we take seriously? Which is the real you?

    Nothing in life is static

    Now, lest I wax too poetic, or else get too serious in a ditty contrived to convince you not to take yourself too seriously, let me encourage you with those words of wisdom that have come to us through the years:

    This too shall pass.

    ~ Anonymous

    I hated hearing that during a struggle. Because in the middle of one you’re consumed. It’s serious business. Sometimes you can’t see your way out or to the other side. But friend, there is a way out, and there is another side. And either way, like it or not, the quote is true, and the struggles we face turn us into different versions of ourselves. I find it helpful to remember neither good fortune nor bad lasts forever, as it says so poignantly in the Grateful Dead’s Stella Blue: 

    “There’s nothing you can hold for very long.”

    ~ Grateful Dead: Stella Blue

    Since our layover on this plane of existence is so brief, let’s not get too bogged down in the mire and minutiae of personal insults and minor snubs. Better to smile, shrug, and move on. Exemplify resilience. On the other hand, when you’re riding high in April, remember not to gloat, May is coming.

    So, let’s laugh more than we cry and love more than we hate and like good boy-scouts, let’s leave things better than we found them. Do not take yourself too seriously. After all, no one is going to remember all the great things you do for yourself, nor all the high-minded opinions you espoused. They’ll remember what you did for them and how you made them feel. Take others seriously and you’ll do a lot more good, receive lots more love, and have a lot more fun.

  • Everyone’s Ways Are Right In Their Own Eyes

    Everyone’s Ways Are Right In Their Own Eyes

    Everyone's ways are right in their own eyes - even this beautiful alley in Charleston, SC
    This Charleston Alley seems like the right way…it sure is beautiful. (Photo by Beth Hughes, used by permission)

    # 62 on my, 99 Life Tips—A List is: Know this as well: Everyone’s ways are right in their own eyes, including yours.

    Most of the inspiration for this tip comes from the Old Testament, with maybe a little from the Grateful Dead.

    “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts.”

    ~Proverbs 21:2

    This proverb reinforces the fact we all do what we prefer. Preferences yield choices, which produce behaviors. These habitual acts become our way of life. But our preferences come from a deeper well–the sense that what we prefer is right. 

    Let’s say this rings true and you believe me. Now what? Are you supposed to excavate every action–performing psychological archaeology–to uncover the latent impulses that inform your every preference? Damn, that’s exhausting just to type. Imagine how much you’d have to live in your head to do that for every decision?

    Yet, this describes so much of what makes up the advice found in self-help books. And even at the professional, clinical level, there’s a lot of retrograde motion attempting to uncover the why’s of behavior. That’s the rub of typical therapy or psychoanalysis once you strip away the jargon.

    What if we could agree on some basic assumptions?

    1- Our nature as humans is to pursue self interest until we meet an obstacle.

    2- Our actions conform to this nature. 

    3- We do what we do and live how we live because it seems to be the right way to fulfill self interest.

    4- We continue on this course until or unless something larger than self interest replaces it as our primary motive. (which is tricky because this becomes our new self interest, though perhaps not for selfish reasons)

    See? Simple. Where should I send my bill? 

    The ancient proverb cited above tells the why’s. But if you don’t like that font of wisdom, might I interest you in some Grateful Dead?

    “Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

    And sometimes we visit your country and live in your home

    Sometimes we ride on your horses, sometimes we walk alone

    Sometimes the songs that we hear are just songs of our own.”

    ~Grateful Dead: Eyes Of The World
    (Songwriters: Jerome J. Garcia / Robert C. Hunter)

    We live the way we do for reasons that seem right. I’ve never woken up and thought, I’m going to live all wrong today. Have you? Even when we do something we know is wrong, we rationalize it to make it right. (Interesting word, rationalize, the practice of torturing reason to turn something wrong into something right so you can avoid feeling bad about it.)

    But enough digression. When you see me, it is safe to assume I’m doing what is right in my own eyes. I’m going to assume that about you. The trick is to assume it about yourself. 

  • Happiness Equations

    Someone once said this about goals,

    ”Aim at nothing and you will be sure to hit it.”

    That’s a paraphrase from my memory. I did not look it up for attribution. 

    The quote makes a good point. If you don’t have a goal in mind, a destination to reach, then any result will do. All outcomes are equally good if you haven’t bothered to select a specific outcome.

    In practice, satisfaction in life is measured by how well we are doing at meeting implicit expectations. There is a mathematical formula that is descriptive of this phenomenon:

    Happiness = Reality – Expectations

    If true (and my experience has proven to me at least that it is), a  thoughtful look reveals that the only part of that equation in your direct control is the Expectations part. The more accepting you are of however Reality unfolds, without imposing any particular expectations on its unfolding, other than the expectation that it will unfold, the happier you will be.

    Can we reconfigure the equation to get any different outcome? Let’s try. By the magic of algebra, solving for Reality, we have:

    Reality = – Expectations – Happiness

    This equation posits that Reality unfolds regardless of either your expectations or feelings about it.

    And then we can also solve for Expectations, and we get:

    Expectations = Reality – Happiness

    This final look shows that Expectations are True (in the sense of accurate) when you accept what Is ( how Reality unfolds) and disregard how it makes you feel.

    So, no matter how we slice it, you can guarantee un-Happiness by expecting to be Happy.

    Happiness then, is a poor goal for one who expects it. The rejection of the expectation of Happiness as irrational is the surest way to experience it in Reality. You’re welcome.

  • Set

    This is surfing…

    Years ago, on vacation in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, I awoke at dawn to go for a walk on the beach, and I saw a curious sight. A guy on a bike was pedaling across the parking lot from the street, pumping away with one hand on the handlebars and the other gripping a surfboard perched precariously on his shoulder. The board was at least twelve feet long. 

    I glanced seaward and saw six or so surfers out in the cold, gray, early morning waters. NSB is known for two things: surfing and shark bites. 

    The cyclist chained his bike to a post and carried his board over to where I was staring out at the early-bird surfers. Some were prone on their boards paddling out into the breakers, some were sitting straddle-legged, bobbing in the swell, just beyond the whitecaps, looking out to sea over their shoulders towards the rising sun.

    I stood there for a few minutes watching, when I noticed the guy with the ultra-long board hadn’t budged. I said, ”Aren’t you gonna join them?”

    He kicked at some sand, kept peering intently at the sea, and said, ”Nah man, there’s no set.”

    I realized I hadn’t actually seen anyone up on their board riding a wave yet. Waves were breaking but the kids in the water kept re-positioning themselves, occasionally paddling furiously to try to catch a whitecap and giving up. 

    ”That’d just be a lot of wasted time,” the leather-tanned surfer said, squinting into the morning sun, ”Maybe later.” And with that he turned and padded barefoot back to his bike.

    That morning has stuck with me as a metaphor for wasted effort. The people in the water weren’t ”surfing”. They were wet, they had surf boards, they were cresting whitecaps, but they weren’t surfing. Surfing happens when you match your timing, positioning, and skill with energy that the wave provides. And when the waves are broken and irregular and without a ”set”, you spend more energy than the ocean does.

    Mr. Longboard had come to surf, not just to get wet. Since the conditions weren’t cooperative, he wasn’t wasting his time and effort. He was experienced enough to know it would have been a lost cause.

    Similar events happen in our lives. Times when we are maxing out effort but there is no flow, and few results. We’re busy, but not productive. Sometimes, it’s a conversation where the other person just isn’t hearing, no matter how many different ways you try to say it. Sometimes, it’s adverse market conditions. Or when the environment makes it impossible to concentrate and do your best work. And sometimes we give it our all, but things beyond our control prevent the results we’re hoping for. It’s important to recognize that it isn’t always about you. 

    We can learn to maximize the return on our efforts. We can be aware of opportunities to meld effort, skill, and timing to get the best results. And we can learn to spot when there is a ”set” and be ready to ride.

  • Creation v. Distribution

    If you want to share the things you create; art, music, writing, crafts; you will reach a dilemma that involves dividing your time between creating, and learning how to effectively share what you’ve created. 

    You will have to think about, research, compare, decide upon, engage with, manipulate, conduct trials, learn from errors, and finally, implement channels of distribution. Then, you will have to analyze the results, make adjustments, and maybe even go a different direction to reach your target audience.

    You will be forced to divide your energy and your precious fleeting time between the creative and the administrative, between the producer and the distributor, the manufacturer and the salesman. 

    All the links in the chain are important, but not equally so. All have their place, but must be ordered properly. All are useful, but only a few are necessary. The effort to create does not occupy the same mental space or attention as that required to promote and market and distribute, because creation and distribution utilize different skillsets. Do not lose sight of what is truly valuable in the chain. 

    There is no need of a market without a product. 

    Be careful to get the best return on your investment of time, attention, and energy. Maximize your strengths at all times. This is more valuable than improving your weaknesses. 

    Selling one’s wares can take on a life of its own with an insatiable appetite that eats the maker of the wares. 

  • Which Do You Prefer?

    Every person, myriad times throughout each day makes decisions about what to say or do from the menu of options available to them at the time of the choice. 

    This bears unpacking a bit. You are reading this right now. You could have chosen to do something else instead. But reading this showed up on the menu of choices available to you and you chose to do so. This process was in play before you knew about it, and it will continue now that you do know about it. 

    Not all options are available to choose at all times. Neither of us can fly to the moon, or even across the room under our own power, for instance, even if we desired to do so. And, to be certain, there is a catalogue of historical debate amongst philosophers and behaviorists over whether or not any of us is truly free when we choose any action. That is the age-old debate over ”free-will” vs. determinism. I am unqualified to dive too deeply into those waters, though I have taken a swim in them from time to time.

    I’m writing to bring attention to the fact that when we act as if we are free to choose, there is something driving and impelling those choices. That something I will call ”preference”. There are two or more options available on the menu; and the one we choose is the one we prefer. How could it be otherwise? 

    I’m writing this now, at this moment, rather than doom-scrolling through Twitter, crawling back into a warm bed, going for a walk in thirty degree drizzle, reading news, turning on the television, etc. I’m writing because it is what I prefer to be doing with this slot of time, energy, and attention more than anything else I could be doing. You are doing the same thing.

    It is important to note that preference does not equal desire. I have desires that I may actually prefer more than my current choice, but at the time of my choosing they were not on the available menu. I desire to be walking a secluded beach with my girlfriend in seventy degree weather with a light breeze in our hair, watching the sun come up over the ocean. But that is not on this morning’s menu. I’m sure you have desires like that.

    Our choices are driven by our preferences. This phenomenon is a fact we experience over and over. This is what makes the concept of free will feel true. Seen in that light, no one can take away another’s free will, because there is no power that can be exerted to take away another’s preference as long as more than one choice is available. You may severely limit the menu of options available to an individual. You may wickedly create for them a reality that is a constant choice between the lesser of two evils. But you cannot take away their ability to choose what they prefer from the remaining options.

    This realization has helped me interpret both my own choices and behaviors as well as those of  others. Watch what someone does or refuses to do. Listen to what they say or refuse to say. You are seeing the external manifestations of their internal preferences, moment by moment, event by event, day by day.

    I am overweight because on the whole, I prefer it to the effort and attentiveness that is necessary to lose the extra pounds. I work for my self as a commissioned salesman, with all of its accompanying risks, because I prefer it to a rigid schedule and losing autonomy in my workday.

    The example of overweight-ness is illustrative of the fact that preferential choices happen in the moment. They are myopic. They are not contemplative of the long game, unless…unless you put that contemplation on the menu. Because to be sure, I prefer health to obesity, in general. I prefer activity to lethargy, in general. I prefer self-control to sloth or gluttony, in principle. 

    A key then to making better choices, is to pick those which will be a balance of preferred outcomes both in the present and into the future.